Sunday, April 25, 2010

4 years

Saturday was my 4 year anniversary with Matt.

4 years ago, we were up until like 3 am, working on a group paper that was due the next day, I still hadn't responded to his confession that he likes me. I was still trying to figure out if I could see myself as more than friends with Sap. I finally let him off the hook. My life was changed forever.

I could no longer refer to him as Sap (what everyone called him, but seriously, I couldn't be like "hi, this is my boyfriend Sap"), and really threw my friends off when I would talk about Matt (who is Matt?) Our friendship grew, we spent all free time together, often watching food network and not doing homework/studying (sorry dad)

Little did "sap" know he was getting a broken girlfriend. The first 4-6 months of our relationship I wasn't right. There were things going on in my life, broken friendships and family issues that were taking a toll on me. I lost a lot of who I was during this time. My motivation to do well in school was slipping, some days just getting out of bed was impossible. I put on my game face, and hid the fact that I felt all wrong inside for a long time. I finally decided to go and talk to someone at the health center at school. I went to two meetings and just talked to someone, I got good advice on how to deal with the feelings I had. And slowly I started to feel normal again.

I tell you this because it is the one thing that breaks my heart and at the same time makes me love Matt even more. While he may not have known I was depressed, he did know that I cried a lot about things because it was usually to him. I still get really sad when I think about how I wasted some of the early days being sad about friends who shouldn't be called friends and allowing them to hurt me over and over. It breaks my heart to know that I allowed people to make me so sad that it took away what should have been some of best times in our relationship. But no matter what, Matt was there. He would hold me and let me cry, rub my hair and tell me it is all going to be ok. He didn't deserve a broken girlfriend, but he stuck with me, and helped me put all the pieces back together. He was my rock. Some how through all of  my mess he fell in love with me, and me with him.  Lucky for me, I got a great man. He loved me through it all.

He is my best friend. He makes me laugh everyday. He supports everything I do, even when it is insane (like wanting to run 13.1 miles) I could go on and on, but I am sure you all are already barfing as it is.

We spent Saturday hanging out at home. Had a bottle of wine to celebrate and then later went out to dinner at my favorite Japanese Hibachi place. Then we came home and watched a movie snuggled on the couch. Pretty low key, but just perfect.

Thank you Matt for loving me for 4 years. I am the luckiest girl in the world. I Love You!


  1. He sounds like a really supportive, wonderful man. Happy Anniversary!