Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Watch this and try not to cry




I failed...


My mom seriously is the best, she has always done anything and everything for us, always putting herself last.


I love you mom.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The last class


They say the final class is always the hardest, and boy is that ever true this time around.

The class itself is extremely demanding, with it basically being one large group project, as well as a lot of individual projects due as well.

This semester I have less free time, I spend 10-12 hours a week in my car driving, compared to the 5-6 hours before.

I worked at my new job last semester, so I am used to having less time during the day to work, but I am still getting used to the routine of working and getting school work finished.

I have more distractions, when I come home I want to hang out with Eric, I want to see how his day was and I want to go to bed at the same time he does. Before, I would take a break and talk to him on face time and then when he went to bed, back to work I went. I saved a lot of my work for the weekends as well. That doesn’t work now as I have to have my sections to my team by Thursday evenings.

I want to plan my wedding. As much as I said I wouldn’t be worrying about the wedding until May that is a lie. I can’t help it.

I am over school, I have been doing this school thing for 3 years, and I am tired of having no free time, tired of not getting to watch my shows, tired of having to say no to friends because school work needs to be done. I am tired of writing and researching.

This last semester, when it is finished, will allow me to feel a real sense of relief and accomplishment. I am pretty sure I will cry tears of joy when I submit that last assignment.

I can’t wait to READ a book, catch up on my DVR that is filling up, paint my bedroom and decorate it, spend an entire weekend with Eric and not worry about when I am going to get my assignments complete. 

I can’t wait to hang that piece of paper on my wall.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Have you set a date?

You get engaged, and the first thing people ask is “have you set a date?!”

Seriously? I JUST got engaged, no. I know I want a spring 2015 wedding, I have plenty of time.

But then you lay in bed making guest lists, and researching venues/caterer/DJs and realizing that 1- there is a lot to do 2-it costs a small fortune to get married (yes dad, I know the church is free, but I am not diggin’ the basketball court feel)

Then I started looking at venues more closely, since I knew that would be the first thing we had to decide.

I couldn’t believe it but May 2015 dates were already filling up.

I called and booked a tour the next day with our first choice in venue.

Eric and I drove out to Walkersville, my hometown, the weekend after we got engaged on Sunday afternoon. Driving out there I made the comment that I have never been super emotionally attached to Walkersville, I moved away pretty easily, but there is something about getting married where I grew up, just a mile or so from home, and right across the street from my middle school that is pretty cool; when we saw the place, all that didn’t even matter anyway.

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It was beautiful, and perfect for the vision I had created in my head of my wedding. I didn’t want formal and fancy. That isn’t me. I wanted casual and fun. The guys aren’t wearing tuxes, and we just might serve BBQ as part of the dinner menu.

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The venue allows for lawn games like corn hole and horseshoes and there is a fire pit in the yard for late night s’mores post dancing.

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Another plus is you get the place until midnight and if it gets cold, then they will put the sides on the tent and heat it for us, for free. Amazing.

We left there a little bummed because we loved the place, but the price for a Saturday was over half what we wanted to spend on the wedding total! We threw around the idea of a Sunday wedding, as it offered some more savings, bringing it to a manageable price. Eric’s mom called us later with an idea that since we were thinking about Sunday, what about Monday, Memorial Day, it would offer much more savings and allow me to use that money for something else, putting us back on track budget wise.

I wasn’t 100% on board with the Monday wedding. So the next day Eric took his parents to show them the venue, and put a hold on the date while we look around at other venues. But once I knew we had a date at that venue, I got super excited and it didn’t matter anymore that it was a Monday.

It will be perfect.

Now I can’t stop researching other aspects of the wedding, reaching out to caterers and DJs.

Once school starts back up I will have to chill, but I am so excited, 2015 seems so far away! But I know it will be here before we know it.

****all pictures are taken from the venue’s facebook page , they aren’t mine, and not of my wedding Open-mouthed smile ****

Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Proposal

I didn’t know how it would happen. I had ideas, but I wasn’t sure. I had told Aubrey that I really didn’t know, he wasn’t a planner at all so who knows what will happen, but I was sure I would see it coming.

Little did I know, I helped create my proposal. One day about a month ago, while chatting on Facetime, Eric mentioned his background on his computer was lame and that he didn’t have any picture of us. To send me what he had so he could pick his favorite and make his background.

So I like a sucker, sent him every picture I had ever taken of us.

Fast forward to Friday, December 13th, 2013. Eric had his work holiday party during the day, and mine was that night. He asked me the plan for my work party EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I seriously got mad and said why the hell are we talking about this if you aren’t going to remember it at all, ill just text you instructions Friday am. Open-mouthed smile 

What I didn’t know was that Wednesday night he went to talk to my parents. Got their blessing and decided that since Friday the 13th was his lucky day he was making it happen that day.

He mentioned to mom he might do it at midnight. So Thursday he mentioned early in the day he might come stay with me. But then he got to his house from work after 9:30pm. I told him it didn’t make sense for him to come down, since I get up at 6 on Fridays, I would just be going to sleep when get got there. OOPS!!!

So Friday night we get dressed up and head to my work party. He finally got to meet all the people I talk about on a daily basis. After dinner, awards and secret Santa, they started dancing and he was ready to go. The party wasn’t over, but people were starting to leave. I don’t dance so I didn’t really have a problem leaving, but watching everyone dance is always entertaining, so I was slow to leave. Eric had a sense of urgency which I didn't understand. I think I even asked what his hurry was, what did he have to do tonight.

We get to my apartment, and he said he had to change his shoes. The plan was to drop him off at his car, and drive to Frederick because we were watching our friend’s baby Saturday. I had to pee, so I left him at the car, changing his shoes (what?! lol) and ran in to pee. I went upstairs to my bathroom, and when I came down he said come here, and handed me a package. He said it was random present day.

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No, I didn’t pick up on it yet.

The package was a photo book, of all the pictures (you  know the ones I sent him) throughout the first two years of dating.

No, I still didn’t pick up on it yet.

I am reading the book, and making comments and laughing, and turned to the last page. The page that said will you marry me?

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I fell backwards, covered my face with the book, and started crying. I yelled “I didn’t think this would happen today!!!”

I sat back up and he was on his knee and asked me to marry him. I of course said yes!

He put my ring on, and it was amazing. More than I could have dreamed, even after seeing it before.

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( I was going to wait until next weekend to do my nails so they were nice for Christmas and new years – but I went Saturday am!)

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AMAZING.

And because my 2nd mommy said “don’t just send me one picture from straight on, I want to see details” a few more pictures of it.

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We had to go right away because he promised my mom we would come over after, and it was already late.

So we got in separate cars for the drive-up. I was too excited to be alone!!! I called both my grandparents and my aunt and uncle as well as Aubrey.

Then we went to mom and dad’s, my brother wasn’t home which bummed me out, but his girlfriend came over and we hung out and I told the story.

We saved our calls to friends until the morning (we did call Jess and Travis on the way to mom and dad’s once we were together.)

It was hilarious because the calls were so different. My calls had squeals of excitement on the other end, and his were cool and calm.

My favorite was watching him tell his good friend Josh. He was the last person we were waiting on to call us back. We had gone out to Home Depot to look at dishwashers, because that’s what old people ask for for Hanukkah and their birthday (YES, I am calling Eric old – but I will be thankful for that dishwasher!) and his friend called. He walked around the holiday section with a big grin on his face, talking about how exciting and cool it was. I loved seeing how excited he was.

He used to call me his future wife all the time, because I would always stomp my foot and yell at him, or stare at my invisible ring, either way he got a reaction out of me.

 

He called me his future wife today, and the butterflies went crazy in my tummy.

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I am getting married!!!! I am so happy I found the man who will make me happy for the rest of my life.

Girlfriend: Retired

I have a new title now. Fiancée.

Lets go back.

I have said it before, that this relationship is different, and the feelings and happiness I feel are more than I have ever felt.

So when we started talking about the future it made sense.  But it was always hypothetical talk, or just day dreaming.

This summer though, things changed and the discussions became more than just hypothetical. It was clear that marriage was the plan.

As the summer went on, my type -A self started thinking about January. January 20th 2014 my lease is up. I knew that my roommate would be moving with her boyfriend alone. I also knew that I wasn’t going to be able to afford to live in Virginia by myself.

I mention this dilemma to Eric, and he said live here (his house). It wasn’t the first time I have heard that, but typically it was after I had just made a delicious meal. I laughed and said I won’t live there without a ring. I have been burned once. While I believed that he loved me, and saw his future with me as a part of it, I couldn’t handle the promise of forever, without a little more commitment. I let the conversation end with my I need a ring comment and it wasn’t talked about for a little while.

But then things got closer to January (read: end of summer) and my stress level was starting to get a little higher. Eric again told me to live with him. I again said I can’t without a ring. This occurred a couple times. I was adamant that I wasn’t moving to Maryland without the commitment of marriage.

One day, he asked, how firm was I about that statement, and I said solid as a rock. A few weeks later, we looked at rings randomly at the mall one day. I got hot and started sweating and my heart was racing. It was actually very difficult to concentrate on the sales person and what she was saying. I think he left with some ideas of things I hated, but not much else.

Later, couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to start working on a plan. I asked him if I needed to be apartment and roommate hunting. He said no. I reminded him of what that meant, and he said he knew, he's been talking to his parents about it.

We went to the beach for Labor Day, and after dinner one night, we walked the shops of Rehoboth, his mom took us in a jewelry store and we actually looked at a couple rings. Eric and I stopped in another shop alone, and really narrowed down what I liked. I was giddy. There is nothing like trying on rings!

I always said, I didn’t want to know anything about it, and I meant it. That changed though, and I am glad it did.

At Rosh Hashana dinner, Eric’s parents gave us a box, with the disclaimer that if I didn’t like it there were no hard feelings. Earlier, Eric’s dad had offered him his mother’s engagement ring setting. Eric wasn’t sure if I would like it or not.

I thought it was nice, and unique, but I wasn’t sure, it was dingy and dirty from sitting in the bank for years. Eric took it the next day to get cleaned and brought it to me and I loved it. It didn’t have a center stone (but this works out best because the original stone was round, and I prefer square), Eric’s mom had made it into a necklace many years before.

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So I saw my ring, I put on my ring, but it wasn’t my ring. I saw my ring, and I knew that there was a timer on getting engaged. How on earth would I be surprised?!

October comes and goes, Thanksgiving comes and goes, and I am seriously starting to plan moving to Maryland. How on earth will I be surprised?! I was trying not to look for it, or expect it, but seriously, I knew it was coming soon, how could I not?

When it didn’t happen at the beach where we met Thanksgiving weekend, I was sure it would be New Years Eve since that was officially 2 years since we met.

But I was pleasantly surprised.

So here is the part you really want to hear about….but I think it needs a post to itself. It is that special.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

So Blessed. So Thankful

I have learned throughout my life, to not take it for granted what I have. I am reminded of that every single day when I walk into my work. It is that time of year when we all specifically take the time to reflect on all we have to be thankful for, even if all we have is just a little.
I am thankful for my job. I have always wanted to make a difference in the world. I am not here on this earth to make big bucks and get rich with a job in an office. Every single day, I wake up knowing that today, I will make a difference for someone. It might be the 2 hour break the mom down the hall gets from her children’s homework (which is surprisingly very frustrating for 1st grade homework). It might be the one hour of my time that they get to sit and talk, express their concerns and get some advice or just a listening ear. I am thankful for the youth in our program. They make me laugh (sometimes pull my hair out) daily. Every day I express to them that they can do big things one day, and I hope I hear all about it. When they leave here, I hope they take two things with them, they are worth something and that they can do anything if they put their mind to it. I hold them to a higher standard than many, I refuse to lower that bar just because they are in Ward 8 or are from South East DC. Nope, no way, I don’t care where you are from, you can, and I expect that you WILL be that success story, that one who beat the odds. I refuse to believe our youth are lost causes. My job, while stressful and emotional at times, makes me a better person. I am thankful I can say that.
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I am thankful for my parents. My parents are the rock that I stand on. I moved out for good the summer of 2009 and during that time, while I was mostly independent, there were times I needed help. They were always there to support me. No matter what, they were there. Through moves, heartache, stress, meltdowns, bills, success, everything; they were there for it all. I wouldn’t be where I am today if they weren’t there with me.
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I am thankful for my brother. My little brother has come so far. I still remember the proud feeling I had, seeing him standing tall at his Marine Corps graduation. Now, almost 4 years later, as he is preparing to get out of the military, he is researching schools and programs and has decided to get his degree. He has matured (ok, not all the time, but he has his moments) into a funny, kind hearted man. I can genuinely say my brother is my friend and nothing makes me happier for that. There were times I didn’t think that would happen.
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I am thankful for my love, Eric. I knew from the beginning that my relationship with Eric was different. What I don’t know was that it was true love. Everything I thought I knew about being in love was wrong. Finally I found someone who makes me happy, truly and genuinely happy. Love with Eric is easy. Yes, living in different states and having crazy work schedules makes it more challenging, but it still is easy. I have never questioned his love for me, I know exactly where he stands. He is supportive of everything I do. I love that we go outside and play, but can also stay in and watch a movie on the couch. Meeting him was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
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I am thankful for my education. In high school, going to college was the next step, I never knew any other option. In college I found friends that I will have for a lifetime. I learned many lessons about life and love, but I also had fun. The four years I spent at the University of Maryland were some of the best years. Going back to school to get my Master’s Degree (times two) was a scary decision, but lots of hard work, missed social gatherings and hours of sleep and I am one class away from being finished. I cannot wait to be able to say I have two master’s degrees. More than all of that, I am finally using my degrees in my work. My undergraduate work closely mirrors my work at SOME. The knowledge of nonprofits and the MBA will hopefully allow me to move up in this organization one day, however, I am seeing aspects of all three degrees in my everyday work. Nothing makes me happier than FINALLY doing something with my degree. (I also can’t wait to hang them up on my wall – all 3 of them!)
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I am thankful for my family. I am realizing more and more just how special it is that I am 29 and I have all four of my grandparents living. They have all been a source of support throughout my life. I have found memories throughout my life with them.
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I am thankful for my friends. My inner circle of friends, the ones I turn to on a regular basis, are so special to me. Aubrey, the bestest, keeps me sane and life in perspective. She lives far away from me, but we talk almost every day, and when we get together its like nothing has changed. My college friends Meg, Jill, Carol – and their spouses (even though two who would go under high school friends – we became closest in college) have been through a lot with me, heartache and happiness. We don’t always see each other too often (though hopefully that will change once we all migrate to the same area – Beadles, you know you want to move to Frederick) but when we do the laughs and fun are never ending. I am still friends with a couple high school friends. Chrissa and Jess has helped me when facing scary times in my life, unemployment, moving, breakups and the good times too. They share their children with me and allow me to be Aunt Angela and come snuggle up squishy and not so squishy babies when I need a fix. When I was sad, Jess suggested I come to the beach for New Year’s Eve. I didn’t really want to, but I did. That changed my life, because that is when I met Eric. I have a lot of other Friends in my life who brighten it up, and just because they aren’t listed by name, by no means, makes them less important to me. I am truly blessed to be surrounded and supported by such wonderful people in my life.
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And of course any pics I have of Jess or Chrissa are on my old phone. I only have pictures of their kids on my phone now. Either way, I love them anyway.
I am truly blessed. This just scratches the surface of my blessings.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

New Ink

I can’t believe I didn’t blog about this.

After I ran my marathon I knew I wanted to commemorate it in some way with a tattoo.

But just having 26.2 seemed lame and weird – especially since I wanted it on my foot.

The more I thought about it, the idea of having my dad write it kept coming to me.

My dad has been a runner my whole life. I have memories of stealing his race shirts to sleep in when we lived in GA – I am pretty sure he only ever ran 5ks in GA, I don’t think he ran a race in MD.

Then he decided to run a half marathon with me.

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Pretty fun!

So I was like I will get 26.2 on my foot – but that still was underwhelming. It was what I wanted but was just eh.

So when I asked dad to write it, he said the numbers or the words. CLICK – the words.

My dad’s handwriting is unique in my opinion, and so having him write it out would be perfect.

So I had him write it, and then made the appointment with my college roommate Meg.  This was back in July. (bad blogger!)

Getting the tattoo on my foot sucked. It hurt, and I would twitch and I couldn’t control it, I was worried that I would screw it up. But I survived and I love it!

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I still look down and forget  I have it. I do get many questions about it. What does twenty-six . two mean? Who wrote that? It’s a nice conversation starter lol.

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It is nice to always have a piece of my dad with me always too.

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This was the peanut gallery at the tattoo shop – who sat and waited nicely while Meg and I got tattoos.