Struggling today. Actually just tonight. It has been a week. But nothing of last week was my normal routine. Then tonight I went to watch The Bachelorette, and it all went down hill. It was the last thing I did before my life flipped upside-down.
I still can't believe this is happening.
I spent Friday from 3-midnight packing up my life with my parents. I hit a huge wall - I just sat there crying, overwhelmed. I just wanted it to be over. Dad, Austin and I went back Saturday to finish. I gave him my keys and it was over. That chapter ended and a new one began with the shut of the door.
Talking to him helped a little. I still can't stop worrying about him. I just want to know he is ok.
Sleeping is the worst. I basically watch tv til I fall asleep because I can't sleep alone. Never could, I always made him go with me when I was ready.
Learning how to do my daily life alone is hard. It sounds so stupid, but it is true. I am so used to making dinner for 2, watching tv with someone, having someone to listen to my random thoughts.
I just want the roller coaster of emotions to stop. I am tired of having a good day, only to have a bad night. I want the hurt to stop. I miss him.
I know it will get easier, I know everything happens for a reason, but I just want to fast forward past this part.