I want to try and make sense of it, but I can't.
Ever since last Thursday, I have felt at peace. It may have something to do with the army of people my mom has praying for me.
The thing is, while I miss what we had, I am excited for my future. I can't imagine being happier than I was, but I will be one day.
I am not focused on trying to figure out how to fix us. How to make him see we have to be together. Bottom line is we aren't meant to be together and somehow I have found away to be ok with that.
The causal texts about dumb things this week between us have done wonders for me. Just to feel like I have a friend again.
The thing that sucks is that people are going to try and say its too soon to be friends, or its weird. But I don't care. I feel different now. That part of our relationship has been packaged up and put on a little shelf in my mind. Never to be forgotten, but it is no longer of use. I hope soon he feels similar peace so that we can be friends. I also hope that our friends don't act weird because we are friends with each other.
He was my best friend for 5 years, that isn't going to go away, it is just changing the way it looks.
I am in a good place. It makes me happy to say that. Even happier to know that I believe it.
1 month ago