Sunday, December 15, 2013

Girlfriend: Retired

I have a new title now. Fiancée.

Lets go back.

I have said it before, that this relationship is different, and the feelings and happiness I feel are more than I have ever felt.

So when we started talking about the future it made sense.  But it was always hypothetical talk, or just day dreaming.

This summer though, things changed and the discussions became more than just hypothetical. It was clear that marriage was the plan.

As the summer went on, my type -A self started thinking about January. January 20th 2014 my lease is up. I knew that my roommate would be moving with her boyfriend alone. I also knew that I wasn’t going to be able to afford to live in Virginia by myself.

I mention this dilemma to Eric, and he said live here (his house). It wasn’t the first time I have heard that, but typically it was after I had just made a delicious meal. I laughed and said I won’t live there without a ring. I have been burned once. While I believed that he loved me, and saw his future with me as a part of it, I couldn’t handle the promise of forever, without a little more commitment. I let the conversation end with my I need a ring comment and it wasn’t talked about for a little while.

But then things got closer to January (read: end of summer) and my stress level was starting to get a little higher. Eric again told me to live with him. I again said I can’t without a ring. This occurred a couple times. I was adamant that I wasn’t moving to Maryland without the commitment of marriage.

One day, he asked, how firm was I about that statement, and I said solid as a rock. A few weeks later, we looked at rings randomly at the mall one day. I got hot and started sweating and my heart was racing. It was actually very difficult to concentrate on the sales person and what she was saying. I think he left with some ideas of things I hated, but not much else.

Later, couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to start working on a plan. I asked him if I needed to be apartment and roommate hunting. He said no. I reminded him of what that meant, and he said he knew, he's been talking to his parents about it.

We went to the beach for Labor Day, and after dinner one night, we walked the shops of Rehoboth, his mom took us in a jewelry store and we actually looked at a couple rings. Eric and I stopped in another shop alone, and really narrowed down what I liked. I was giddy. There is nothing like trying on rings!

I always said, I didn’t want to know anything about it, and I meant it. That changed though, and I am glad it did.

At Rosh Hashana dinner, Eric’s parents gave us a box, with the disclaimer that if I didn’t like it there were no hard feelings. Earlier, Eric’s dad had offered him his mother’s engagement ring setting. Eric wasn’t sure if I would like it or not.

I thought it was nice, and unique, but I wasn’t sure, it was dingy and dirty from sitting in the bank for years. Eric took it the next day to get cleaned and brought it to me and I loved it. It didn’t have a center stone (but this works out best because the original stone was round, and I prefer square), Eric’s mom had made it into a necklace many years before.


So I saw my ring, I put on my ring, but it wasn’t my ring. I saw my ring, and I knew that there was a timer on getting engaged. How on earth would I be surprised?!

October comes and goes, Thanksgiving comes and goes, and I am seriously starting to plan moving to Maryland. How on earth will I be surprised?! I was trying not to look for it, or expect it, but seriously, I knew it was coming soon, how could I not?

When it didn’t happen at the beach where we met Thanksgiving weekend, I was sure it would be New Years Eve since that was officially 2 years since we met.

But I was pleasantly surprised.

So here is the part you really want to hear about….but I think it needs a post to itself. It is that special.

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